I'm not sure how to set this one up... Three Wishes tells the tale of a family with a lot of problems who meet Dalton from Road House who makes everything better.

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio plays Jeanne Holman, the hot, widowed mom of her of two sons, awful baseball player and longs to have a dad like everyone else, Tom (Jurassic Park's Joseph Mazello) and cancerous little brother who is afraid of everything, Gunny (Who the hell cares) in a 1955 American small town. On their way to a memorial day picnic they stop to pay their respects to America's fallen soldiers, including Mr. Holman who's plane was shot down over Korea and his body never recovered. Heading home, Jeanne accidentally hits Jack the hitchhiker (Patrick Swayze) and breaks his leg. Offering her sympathy, she invites he and his dog to stay with them until his leg heels.

While living with them, Jack sunbathes in the nude, practices meditation, brews his own sun tea, and does a lot of other things the Holman's nosy neighbors approve of no more than they do Mrs. Holman letting a stranger live with her. As the film progresses Jack teaches Jeanne she doesn't have to worry about finding a new father for the boys because she's doing a fine job raising them herself, he teaches Gunny not to be afraid of everything, and teaches Tom and his lousy team how to play baseball.

Eventually his leg heels and he decides to take his leave, much to the dismay of Tom who has grown to see him as a father figure. Jack tells Tom that every time you lose something you get something in return. "You're a bum!", yells an angry, tearful Tom who runs off without saying goodbye to what he would have liked to be his new dad. Then Mr. Holman shows up because the People's Republic of China has released fifteen American prisoners of war... also Gunny's cancer goes away. Jack probably had something to do with that. The Holman family is reunited and everyone's happy!

The above synopsis is a very abridged version of the plot.
The film begins with a present day framing device where we see Tom as an adult (Michael O'Keefe) with a family of his own learning almost hitting a dog that looks like Jacks. We'll get back to this in a moment.

The story (and name) of the film stem from the way Jack offers, not just guidance, but wishes to the Holmans. Gunny wishes he could fly into the air and see the fireworks on Fourth of July (I.E. Not be scared), Jeanne wants her boys to be well taken care of, and Tom wishes for nothing as making Jack stay was not an option. A big problem is that these wishes were very literal... Gunny does in fact fly through the air to see the fireworks. Not making that up. He flies.

The dog that travels with Jack is, as he tells Gunny during a bedtime story, a Genie that travels the world granting wishes to kind people. Now, the dog being a Genie and Gunny's flight could easily just be a case of, "Hey! Jack's just telling the kid a cool story and the flight was Gunny's youthful imagination.", but after Mr. Holman returns we come back to present day where adult Tom stops to see if the dog is okay, not only is it okay but it's being escorted by Jack who has not aged a bit and tells Tom that he made his wish for him, to be happy with whatever he gets.
Yeah, Jack and the dog were magic... and it wasn't even a Disney movie.

Honestly, it wasn't that bad of a movie. With just a little bit of work and the complete removal of adult Tom it could have been good. Still, if you're in the mood for a sentimental family film and enjoy movies like Angels in the Outfield or The Preachers Wife, you might get a kick out of this one.


Final score:
Two old Sega games, a can, and a toy robot with a missing leg








Dumpster worthy?:
Not really. If you find it in the dumpster, grab it. Unless there's something gross near it.

Oh boy, I don't know what to say. What's the primary theme of this film? I suppose the only way to describe Mona Lisa Smile is, "Julia Roberts is a sassy, smart girl in a world that's not quite ready for her... again."

Roberts plays Katherine Watson, a strong, independant art teacher in a 1950s Massachusetts Liberal Arts School for snooty girls. Her students are on a constant crusade to be even sassier than Ms. Watson herself, doing everything from answering her questions before she's finished asking them to calling a painting of a bloody carcass, "erotic." Oh, those sassy, sassy girls. Fortunately Watson's will can not be diminished by her students. She teaches the girls the value of free thought and to ignore all the conventional rules they've been brought up on.

Suddenly, the students are appreciating art and not just studying it. They now view Watson, not as some poor gal from the west coast but rather a sassy role model. The film ends with Watson leaving the school for some reason and the girls saying thank you for being a friend, your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant.

I've got to be honest, this movie wasn't terrible in the sense that it wasn't painful to be in the same room as it but it also wasn't good in the sense that whatever is on TV at this moment (this very moment, regardless of what time of day or night you're reading this) is probably better than it. One of my biggest complaints comes from the portrayal of 1953 college girls. They acted too much like sassy 2003 college girls. I suppose I'm not exactly a connoisseur on the youth from fifty years ago but I think Back to the Future gave me a way more convincing look into the past. The girls just used way too much modern slang for it to be realistic. It was also the fact that the already very feminist students were being taught feminism by their feminist teacher. Honestly, for a conservative, 1950s, private school, these chicks were really, REALLY sassy. There was also no character development. Every one of these girls could have been any other girl in the class. All the characters were completely interchangeable. Seriously, they could have switched the names of the students around every other scene and nobody would have noticed... in fact I think they might have.

If you're in the mood for a movie about a teacher teaching his/her students to think outside the box I'd have to recommend Dead Poets Society, School of Rock, or (dare I say it?) Mr. Holland's Opus before this.

All in all, for a film that focuses on the emotional and cultural value of art it sure was an uninspired piece of crap.

Final score:
Three banana peels and some expired take out.








Dumpster worthy?:
Not worth digging out of the trash but if you already have make sure you hit it with some Lysol and give it to some family member you don't really know that well as a gift.